Skip to the scandal
Est. 1813
Regency Chaos
A most dangerous game.
Price: 1 Shilling
Vol. I — The London Season
London, October 27, 1813
Printed Weekly, Whether You Like It or Not
Front Page
How to Play
The Cards
Editions
About
The Gossip Pamphlet
Your Dance Card
Front Page
How to Play
The Cards
Editions
About
Every dance is a scheme.
The Deck of Ruin
The Cards
Turn one over. You know you want to.
All
50
fortune
3
misfortune
8
fate
3
society
36
1
You have robbed a carriage at gunpoint.
Collect the points from all the other players.
The Fine Print
It is a simple enough transaction, conducted at the point of a pistol on the King's highway. Every other player empties their purse into yours, and their hard-won fortunes become your own. Take the lot, and do not look back.
Stand and deliver. The highwayman, at least, is honest about his profession.
Tap to reveal the fine print
2
You have acquired scarlet fever and are now dead.
Forfeit the game.
The Fine Print
There is no appeal and no physician equal to it. The fever takes you where you stand, and the game goes on without you. Lay down your cards; your season ends here.
The fever gives no notice and accepts no callers. Your season is over.
Tap to reveal the fine print
3
You are pregnant by a travelling soldier and must get married at Gretna Green.
Forfeit all your points evenly to the other players. (Because Regency life was unfair to women).
The Fine Print
There is nothing for it but the blacksmith's shop at Gretna Green and a ring before the baby shows. The marriage is legal, the scandal permanent, and your savings are forfeit. Divide every point you hold evenly among the other players.
A hasty marriage over the anvil. The blacksmith witnesses; society does not forgive.
Tap to reveal the fine print
4
You are challenged to a duel.
Flatter one other player or be killed and forfeit the game.
The Fine Print
Pistols are waiting at dawn, but one well-aimed compliment may spare you the field. Choose one other player and flatter them convincingly. If your tongue fails you, the duel does not: you are killed and forfeit the game.
A polished compliment is cheaper than powder and considerably safer.
Tap to reveal the fine print
5
You have married into a wealthy family.
Earn 1000 points and the resentment of the other players.
The Fine Print
The settlement is signed, the carriages are yours, and the ton seethes with envy. You gain a thousand points on the strength of the match. You also gain the lasting resentment of every player at the table, which costs nothing and is worth less.
A brilliant match. You will be resented at every breakfast for the rest of your natural life.
Tap to reveal the fine print
6
You have amassed a fortune through piracy.
Confess something you have stolen for 500 points, or give 500 away evenly.
The Fine Print
Your fortune arrived by sea and under a flag best left undescribed. Confess something you have stolen and claim five hundred points. Keep your secrets, and five hundred points are divided evenly among the other players.
The Admiralty wants a confession; the table will settle for the points.
Tap to reveal the fine print
7
You are pregnant again by another travelling soldier.
Forfeit all points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
Once was misfortune; twice is a pattern the parish will not overlook. There is no Gretna Green this time, only the pointing fingers. Divide every point you hold evenly among the other players and begin again.
Again. The regiment moves on; the consequences do not.
Tap to reveal the fine print
8
You have inherited 50,000 pounds from your deceased cousin.
All the other players must give you their points (and yes, they really do hate you now).
The Fine Print
The will is read, the mourning is observed for a respectable fortnight, and then the collecting begins. Every other player surrenders all their points to you, and smiles about it through clenched teeth.
Fifty thousand pounds. Mourn the cousin briefly; count the money twice.
Tap to reveal the fine print
9
You have lost your home to a relative after your father’s death.
Give all your points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
Your father is barely cold before the heir-at-law arrives with the entail in his hand and your trunks in mind. The house, the land, and your security pass to a man you barely know. Everything you have saved is divided evenly among the other players.
The estate was entailed. Your cousin sends his regards, and a forwarding address for your trunks.
Tap to reveal the fine print
10
You have acquired cholera and are now dead.
Forfeit all your points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
It moves through a street faster than gossip and with less mercy. You are dead before the doctor can be fetched, and the game goes on. Divide every point you hold evenly among the other players.
It took the street in a week. It took you before supper.
Tap to reveal the fine print
11
You have acquired tuberculosis.
Admit something disgusting you once did or forfeit all your points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
The physician prescribes country air, while society demands a more interesting remedy. Admit something disgusting you once did and your purse survives. Refuse, and every point you possess is divided evenly among the other players.
A shocking admission may yet prove healthier than discretion.
Tap to reveal the fine print
12
You have acquired syphilis, you utter cad.
Forfeit all points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
The diagnosis is whispered, the curtains drawn, and your reputation pronounced beyond treatment. Divide every point you hold evenly among the other players. The physician can offer discretion, but not a refund.
The complaint is private; the forfeiture is regrettably public.
Tap to reveal the fine print
13
You have been charged and convicted of forgery and will be publicly executed.
Admit something you once cheated on or forfeit all your points evenly to the other players and die.
The Fine Print
The forged hand has been recognized and the sentence already announced. Admit something you once cheated on and earn a final reprieve. Refuse, and your points are divided evenly before you die.
An honest confession arrives rather late, but not quite too late.
Tap to reveal the fine print
14
You have been sentenced to prison for pickpocketing.
Confess something you once shoplifted or forfeit your points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
The constable has your collar and Newgate has your name. Confess something you once shoplifted and the magistrate may yet look kindly on you. Stay silent, and your points are divided evenly among the other players.
One small theft confessed may answer for the pocket that betrayed you.
Tap to reveal the fine print
15
You have been conscripted into the navy.
Choose a player to give you an order, which must be obeyed or you must forfeit all points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
The press gang has supplied a ship, an officer, and no avenue of complaint. Choose another player to issue you an order and obey it. Decline, and divide all your points evenly among the other players.
His Majesty requires obedience; the table requires entertainment.
Tap to reveal the fine print
16
Your employers caught you sleepwalking naked through their house.
Confess a naked mishap for 50 points, or give 50 to a chosen player.
The Fine Print
The household has seen rather more of its governess than the position requires. Confess a time others caught you naked and collect fifty points. Refuse, and choose one player to receive fifty of yours.
A candle, a corridor, and not a stitch of discretion.
Tap to reveal the fine print
17
There is a rumor that your tea shop sells tea adulterated with sheep dung.
Admit committing a crime and earn 300 points. Or give 300 of your points to the other players evenly. Also, stop putting sheep dung in tea. Seriously.
The Fine Print
Your tea is notorious, your customers suspicious, and the sheep are refusing comment. Admit a crime you committed and collect three hundred points. Refuse, and divide three hundred of your points evenly among the other players.
Customers have begun asking what, precisely, gives it that earthy finish.
Tap to reveal the fine print
18
You have opened a bakery.
Rate everyone's cooking for 200 points; pay 200 to anyone offended.
The Fine Print
A baker's judgment is expected to be exact, though never necessarily kind. Rate the cooking of the other players truthfully and earn two hundred points. If any player is offended, you must give that player two hundred of your points.
The crumb may be uneven, but the criticism must be perfectly risen.
Tap to reveal the fine print
19
You have opened a fabric shop. Your letter confessing an affair with the married shop owner next door is intercepted.
Admit a crush on someone and earn 200 points, or give 200 of your points to another player.
The Fine Print
A private letter has escaped among the bolts and your reputation has unraveled with it. Admit a crush on someone and earn two hundred points. Refuse, and give two hundred of your points to another player.
Silk frays quietly; reputations make a much louder tearing sound.
Tap to reveal the fine print
20
You arrived at the bank without your trousers.
Confess an embarrassment for 200, or give 200 away and forfeit.
The Fine Print
A sleepless night has delivered you to the counting house without the customary lower half of your attire. Confess an embarrassing incident and gain two hundred points. Refuse, and divide two hundred points evenly before forfeiting the game.
The ledgers balanced; the wardrobe did not.
Tap to reveal the fine print
21
Your bank has failed, and your money is now gone.
Forfeit all points to the other players.
The Fine Print
One morning the doors simply do not open, and by noon there is a crowd in the street demanding its deposits. Your ledger is fiction and your credit is ash. Everything you hold passes to the other players.
The vault was full of confidence and empty of coin. So, now, are you.
Tap to reveal the fine print
22
You have stolen bread and are being sent to Australia.
Say something scandalous about one of the other players (which may not be true). Or forfeit all your points to the other players evenly. And get ready to make friends with kangaroos.
The Fine Print
Transportation awaits, and the ship will not delay for a better rumor. Say something scandalous about one other player, whether true or not. Fail to scandalize them and divide all your points evenly among the others.
The voyage is long, the rations are worse, and the bread was stale anyway.
Tap to reveal the fine print
23
Your working conditions as a scullery maid are so bad that you have acquired pneumonia and must make your dying wish to the other players.
If they fulfill your wish you earn 10 points. Or give them all your points evenly and then die. And then forfeit the game.
The Fine Print
The servants' hall falls quiet while you make your dying wishes. If the other players accept and fulfill them, earn ten points. If they refuse, divide all your points evenly among them, then die and forfeit the game.
Even a dying wish must survive committee.
Tap to reveal the fine print
24
The butler caught you drinking and dismissed you without a reference.
Confess a supposed secret for 30 points, or give 30 away.
The Fine Print
You are in the street without employment, reference, or sober explanation. Confess a secret about one other player—it need not be true—and earn thirty points. Refuse, and give thirty of your points to another player.
Without a reference, a rumor must serve as currency.
Tap to reveal the fine print
25
You have been turned out of the house for refusing the advances of the lord of the manor.
Lose all your points to the other players.
The Fine Print
You refused the master of the house, and the mistress dismissed you without a character. With no reference there is no work, and with no work there is the street. Hand every point you have to the other players.
The lord keeps his reputation. You keep the baby.
Tap to reveal the fine print
26
You have been hired as a seamstress.
Comment on the outfit of one of the other players and earn 30 points. Or decide to keep the peace and give 10 of your points to another player (preferably the one wearing the least fashionable outfit).
The Fine Print
Your professional eye has found a garment and formed an opinion. Comment on another player's outfit, favorably or otherwise, and earn thirty points. If peace seems wiser, give ten points to another player instead.
A hem may be repaired. An honest opinion seldom can.
Tap to reveal the fine print
27
A naked night in the street has ruined your wine shop.
Confess something naughty for 100 points, or divide 100 evenly.
The Fine Print
The new vintage has cost you your memory, your clothing, and your establishment. Confess a time you were caught doing something naughty and earn one hundred points. Refuse, and divide one hundred of your points evenly among the others.
The bouquet was bold; the awakening bolder.
Tap to reveal the fine print
28
Your bestselling book has scandalized prominent society.
Make an embarrassing demand of one of the other players. If they accept your demand, earn 200 points. If they do not accept, give 200 of your points away evenly. So either way, this is going to be awkward.
The Fine Print
Your scandalous volume is selling beautifully and being denounced everywhere respectable. Make an embarrassing demand of one other player. If they accept, earn two hundred points; if they refuse, divide two hundred of your points evenly among the others.
A bestseller is merely a scandal with excellent distribution.
Tap to reveal the fine print
29
You are a busy bootmaker.
Comment on another player's footwear for 50 points, or give 50 away.
The Fine Print
No shoe at the table escapes your practiced inspection. Comment on another player's footwear, favorably or otherwise, and earn fifty points. Refuse, and give fifty of your points to another player.
Judge the sole if you must; society has already judged the wearer.
Tap to reveal the fine print
30
You are a companion to a wealthy older woman.
Invent a boring poem for 50 points, or give 100 away.
The Fine Print
Your patroness requires verse, and taste is no part of the appointment. Invent a boring poem immediately and earn fifty points. Fail, and give one hundred of your points to another player.
The rhyme may be dreadful, provided it is prompt.
Tap to reveal the fine print
31
You are a successful barrister.
Defend the rights of women for 1 minute. If the other players agree you succeeded, you earn 500 points. If they do not, you must give 500 of your points to the other players. And will have deserved that loss.
The Fine Print
The court is packed and the jury is entirely male. Stand and defend the rights of women for one full minute, then let the other players rule on your case. If they agree you won it, earn five hundred points; if they do not, five hundred of your points go to them.
The verdict is final, especially when delivered by amateurs.
Tap to reveal the fine print
32
You have gambled away the family fortune and face debtors' prison.
Confess a crime or forfeit all points.
The Fine Print
Card by card, the estate that took generations to build is gone in a season, and the sponging-house waits. There is one way to keep playing: admit to the table a crime you have truly committed. Refuse, and every point you hold goes to the other players.
The vowels were signed in a good hand. The money, alas, was real.
Tap to reveal the fine print
33
Your parish found you drunk and unclothed on Sunday morning.
Sing a hymn for 100 points, or divide 100 evenly.
The Fine Print
Your parishioners have seen enough to dismiss you, though perhaps not enough to silence you. Sing a hymn—an invention is permitted—and earn one hundred points. Refuse, and divide one hundred of your points evenly among the other players.
When vestments fail, a strong chorus must preserve what dignity remains.
Tap to reveal the fine print
34
Your farm has faced a poor harvest but you still own the land.
Perform some form of manual labor for another player. If you perform the task to their satisfaction you will earn 30 points. If they do not approve, you must give them 30 of your points.
The Fine Print
The harvest is poor, so rank must briefly yield to useful work. Perform manual labor for another player. Their approval earns you thirty points; their dissatisfaction costs you thirty points paid directly to them.
Ownership is dignified; labor is apparently where the points are.
Tap to reveal the fine print
35
You have been hired as a housekeeper.
Clean something in your immediate area and you will earn 20 points. If the other players are not satisfied, you must give them 25 of your points, divided among them.
The Fine Print
Choose something in your immediate area and clean it under the table's exacting gaze. Satisfaction earns you twenty points. If the other players are not satisfied, divide twenty-five of your points among them.
Dust is patient, but the household is not.
Tap to reveal the fine print
36
You have obtained a commission to serve in the militia.
You were caught persuading your commanding officer's wife to elope. Ask each player to say something scandalous about you and earn 100 points. You must thank them for their comments. Fail to thank them and lose 100 points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
You have obtained a commission to serve in the militia. You were caught persuading your commanding officer's wife to elope. Ask each player to say something scandalous about you and earn 100 points. You must thank them for their comments. Fail to thank them and lose 100 points evenly to the other players.
A gentleman accepts calumny graciously, particularly when he requested it.
Tap to reveal the fine print
37
You were tricked into army service while drunk.
Dance for the other players or forfeit all your points.
The Fine Print
You woke with a uniform, an enlistment, and only the faintest memory of agreeing to either. Perform a dance for the other players. Refuse, and divide all your points evenly among them.
The recruiter bought the drink; you provide the entertainment.
Tap to reveal the fine print
38
You have a child out of wedlock but are hastily married.
Earn 10 points, then give them to another player.
The Fine Print
The baby arrived before the banns, but a quick trip to the altar has papered over the calendar. You collect ten points for propriety's sake — then pass those same ten points to whichever player you choose.
A hasty wedding covers a multitude of arithmetic.
Tap to reveal the fine print
39
You have died while giving birth.
Forfeit the game and your points to the other players.
The Fine Print
It is the commonest way for a woman to leave this world, and it has taken you mid-labour. The infant survives. You are finished in this game, and what you held is shared out among the other players.
The child lives. You do not. The parish register records both in the same week.
Tap to reveal the fine print
40
Your family has arranged a marriage for you with a gentleman of modest means.
Choose another player to own all your points. (Because Regency husbands owned all their wives’ money and property. Yes, you read that right.)
The Fine Print
The match is made over your head, to a gentleman of slender fortune and slighter charm. Consent was never requested. Name another player to assume control of everything you have — for by law a husband held his wife's fortune as his own property.
You are not thrilled. You were not consulted. The settlement was signed before the tea went cold.
Tap to reveal the fine print
41
You are too old to marry and are considered a spinster.
Choose another player to give you a third of their points.
The Fine Print
Society has finished discussing you, but the rent continues. A relative is prevailed upon to support you. Choose another player to hand you a third of their points, and spend it on your own terms.
A spinster is a woman whom society has finished discussing. The rent, however, continues.
Tap to reveal the fine print
42
You have written a book under a pen name and gain a modest living.
Confess a secret to include in your memoirs and earn 100 points. Or the other players may demand your 100 points.
The Fine Print
Your pen name pays modestly, but scandal may improve the next edition. Confess a secret fit for your memoirs and earn one hundred points. If the others disapprove, they may demand those hundred points for themselves.
Posterity adores a secret, especially under a respectable pseudonym.
Tap to reveal the fine print
43
You have invented the steam engine.
Gain 1000 points.
The Fine Print
You have harnessed steam to do the work of horses, and the age will never be the same. The investors are already at the door. Take one thousand points.
Posterity will call it progress. The present calls it a very loud boiler.
Tap to reveal the fine print
44
You are the headmaster of a prestigious boarding school.
Devise a scholarly demand of the other players who must answer correctly or forfeit 50 points each to you.
The Fine Print
The school is yours to rule, Latin grammar and all. Put a scholarly question to the other players. Each one who cannot answer must surrender fifty points to you; any who answer correctly pay nothing.
You are paid to know the answer, and to cane the boy who does not.
Tap to reveal the fine print
45
You are a successful landscape painter.
Create a drawing for the other players. If they approve, you earn 200 points. If they do not approve, you earn no points. (Because life as an artist is hard).
The Fine Print
Produce a drawing for the table and let the company judge it. If they approve, collect two hundred points; if they do not, collect nothing but their opinions.
The patron wants a likeness, the critics want a statement, and the rent wants paying.
Tap to reveal the fine print
46
You are a successful dressmaker.
Praise another player’s outfit for 300 points. If they reject your praise, you must give them 300 of your points (just bear in mind that they may depend upon your revenge later in the game).
The Fine Print
Choose another player's outfit and praise it with all the conviction your profession permits. If they accept the compliment, earn three hundred points. If they reject it, give that player three hundred of yours—and remember the insult for later.
Flattery is cut to measure and revenge never goes out of fashion.
Tap to reveal the fine print
47
You have been accused of immodesty by speaking too loudly in public.
Forfeit 50 points evenly to the other players.
The Fine Print
You laughed too loudly in the street, and now the matrons of the ton are fanning themselves in horror. Your credit suffers for it. Give fifty points evenly to the other players.
A lady's voice should never carry. Yours carried.
Tap to reveal the fine print
48
You are celebrated as a great stage actor.
Recite Hamlet's soliloquy for 30 points and universal admiration.
The Fine Print
Consult Hamlet's soliloquy by whatever modern contrivance is at hand, then take the stage. Recite it for the table and earn thirty points along with the admiration of the other players. Applause is expected, though not itemized.
All the world's a stage, and the telephone has somehow found the prompt box.
Tap to reveal the fine print
49
You have been adopted as the house spaniel of a wealthy gentlewoman.
Earn 10 points and be a good dog.
The Fine Print
You have been adopted into a lady's household as a lapdog, fed from her plate and carried up the stairs. It is a soft life with no responsibilities. Take ten points, and be a good dog.
A warm lap, a silk cushion, and no opinions whatsoever. Be a good dog.
Tap to reveal the fine print
50
Your letter admitting your love affair with a clergyman has been intercepted and read.
Confess a forbidden romance to the other players or forfeit all your points evenly.
The Fine Print
Your indiscreet correspondence has been opened, passed around, and quoted at dinner. There is only one way to brazen it out: confess a forbidden romance to the other players. Otherwise every point you hold is divided evenly among them.
The letter was frank, the handwriting unmistakable, and the household now reads aloud at breakfast.
Tap to reveal the fine print
Continue the Season
Related Pages
How to Play
Draw a card, read it aloud, and resolve it at once.
Editions
Order the deck in Standard or Gilded Society.
About the Game
The letter, the chronicle, and the guiding principles.